My friend is fighting for her life, and her 15 year old son has written a book about being a child in this situation

My friend Inger Anne is strong, gorgeous and has a winning personality. She fights fro the weak, and she practices attachment parenting and has raised four beautiful and strong children - the youngest of which has had to live with her mom fighting cancer since she was born. She is now six years old, and her mom has fought the disease several times - in her breasts, her liver and now, in her head... and it has always been serious - but this time is worse.

Inger Anne, however, throughout this process, has been fighting not only for her life, but also for society to acknowledge that cancer not only affects the patient, but that the children are vehemently affected as well - which is too seldom brought to the surface.

This is an article (in Norwegian) from three years ago when she had just gotten diagnosed with liver cancer, and she brought up how - regardless of how sick you are - your first concern as a mom will always be how your children will handle the situation, and how they feel.

http://www.tv2.no/gmn/dinhelse/naar-mamma-har-kreft-2869110.html

Her oldest child, 15 year old Ruben, has chosen to describe this now, and as a junior high school writing project, he has written a 100 page book that has been published now, where he describes both with humor and sadness the life of living with a mom with cancer.

http://www.adressa.no/nyheter/trondheim/article6391901.ece

and why am I only now bringing it up? As I read the article yesterday, I realized, I had not known how far this had gone - and that this time, this could be it. I was getting used to Inger Annes optimism and joy, about her trust that she would grow old and she would see her children grow to be adults. I *knew* with her that cancer could NOT kill her - she would make it - I knew she would. And then, I went to the US for a year. I got the usual christmas card where everything looked as usual with the family - they were happy, the children were doing well, and all seemed "normal" - as normal as can be when cancer is looming in the background. Theodore also got a card from their youngest son, who he went to daycare with and played soccer with later, and we missed them a lot. Coming back to Norway has been hectic, however, and I had only been following Inger Anne on Facebook, and all looked well there as well, until she posted that she was in for chemo again - and the floor fell out from under me - and now this article.

And I realize, that they are living their own personal hell, while I am living my banale life - not appreciating the gift of life I have. I could not sleep all night, stayed awake from 2 am, just thinking and crying and being sad that such a beautiful life is being worn down right now - though she is fighting still.

But seeing her words in the paper, saying she had prepared the children now for the probability that she would not grow old like other moms, that broke my heart. Hearing her resign to the illness and see that this could be it - that broke my heart - as I know it must be killing her family inside and out.

I was holding my children hard today, hugging them, trying to remind myself to find joy in every little thing, and act around them as if I had lost them yesterday - but got them back again - experience the joy and happiness of having these beautiful children, my loving husband, four brothers, parents - and all well and all alive. I need to appreciate more - and not let the stress of life, and pure banalities, get to me and destroy the gifts I have been given.

Have a blessed day - and please - keep Inger Anne and her four children and her husband in your hearts and prayers and hope for a miracle so that we can keep this amazing woman around for years to come!

Then